Newly Engaged? 5 Ways to Win Your In-Laws’ Hearts Over

Fest Christmas Buffet Christmas Dinner

Frankly, once you’re engaged to the love of your life, you’re also tied up to the accompanying package, i.e. your partner’s family, friends, etc. There’s more to a successful couple than what meets the eye. The couple has to put in efforts to be a part of their partner’s family. That includes learning about their interests, likes, and dislikes. One has to spend enough time with them to understand their expectations. Once you’ve studied them thoroughly, you can behave accordingly to please the partner’s parents and be in their good books. Keep reading to find out about five ways to win your in-laws over.

1. Show an interest in them

Don’t behave like an outsider. Talk to your in-laws about their interests and hobbies. The more comfortable you are with them, the more they’d like to open up. It is no shame if you’re the one who starts the conversation. It only shows them that you’re interested and willing to make an effort to be a part of their lives. Find if you share any common interests. Don’t refrain from digging deep into the subject and being expressive of your interest.

2. Encourage them to pursue their talents

Maybe the food at your in-laws was flavorsome, and it was the mother in-laws’ creation. Complement her on that and encourage her to pursue her love for cooking. Maybe she also has a knack for knitting, so you can request her to knit something for you. The more involved you are with them, the more you’ll get to learn about their hidden talents. Maybe in their heart of hearts, they simply needed that extra push to pursue their passions wholeheartedly. You will definitely be at the back of their minds to have encouraged them to go that extra mile.

3. Make an effort to accommodate their traditions

When you’re engaged and both your families have also formally agreed to your marriage, you should be open to incorporating your in-laws’ traditions in your life as a couple. Like if your in-laws are Jewish, then you should be open to learning about their festivals, such as Hanukkah. You can gift them a candle stand for the successive kindling of eight lights. Or, if the in-laws are Syrian Christians, be a part of their Christmas feast and gift the children some Christmas chocolate hampers. You can also ask your partner to teach you some hymns and prayers. When you make an effort to learn about the intricacies of their ethnicity, they can trust you as a member of the family and keep their traditions intact. 

4. Cultivate shared interests

Once you learn about your father-in-law’s love for football, you can discuss the shared interest and book tickets for an EPL match together. That’ll give you some extra time to bond over the shared love of a sport. If your mother-in-law is fond of gardening, you can talk to her about cultivating your newfound interest. When you cultivate shared interests, it’s difficult to run out of talking points in a conversation. It’ll also get rid of their initial unease with the new member of the family.

5. Stand by your in-laws during difficult times

Life is a mix of ups and downs, and your support will be appreciated by your in-laws in their difficult times. You have been with them during the good times and celebrations, but when they see you helping out during their difficulties. This hammers the nail of trust and reliability on the relationship with your in-laws.


Forming a new relationship can be stressful, but following the above points can help you to win over your in-laws.